Red Flags & Blue Feelings
This piece feels muddy and out of control, and it didn’t live up to the idea inside my head. But that doesn’t mean it failed. It feels like a transition piece that shows you what you don’t want so you can get closer to what you do.
This piece feels like a painting made in a moment of intensity and insanity. Maybe I needed to get something out that didn’t have words yet.
It looks like grief, rage, or that in-between space where you’re unsure if you’re breaking down or opening. To me, the red thread line in the upper right picture is one of the few clearly defined things in the piece, and it almost looks like it’s trying to navigate the chaos—like a lifeline… a vein… or something unraveling.
I’d say this piece is raw power without a filter — it feels like it was painted in a moment where the goal wasn’t beauty but release. There’s something primal and expressive about it as if it wasn’t made with the mind but with the nervous system. There’s no clear focal point, which feels disorienting, but the more you sit with it, the more it mimics a panic spiral or an emotional storm. Your eyes are forced to dart, scan, search — but they never settle. And I don’t think it was a conscious decision made in the moment.
If this painting had a voice, it might say:
“I didn’t come here to be pretty. I came here to be real.”
It’s not chaos for the sake of chaos.
It’s a storm with no forecast, a canvas that holds the feelings you can’t always describe but deeply recognize once you see it.
It’s uncomfortable.
And that might be its purpose.
Not every painting is a favorite. But this one holds the parts I couldn’t say out loud at the time.
marysaysmeh 