marysaysmeh

Hey. Hi. Hello.

I’m coming at y’all with all your PTA Bake Sale needs. For this pie recipe, I need everyone to dig deep and embody their inner 45 year old soccer Mom selves. Maybe rent a mini van to get into the groove of carpooling. Or try drinking 5 liters of coffee a day to combat exhaustion. Either way, I need you to mentally prepare yourself to crush Barbara with her “homemade” cookies. *cough we all know they’re store bought, Barbara cough*

Okay, have you embraced the “I need to talk to your manager” haircut? If so, you’re ready! I know everyone hates reading 10 paragraphs before a recipe, so lets get right into it.

Blackberry Plum & Rosemary Pie

Ingredients:

• 2-3 packages of store bought blackberries
• 4 black plums
• 2 tablespoons of your choice of Bourbon
• 1/2 cup of flour
• 1 tablespoon of cornstarch
• 1-2 cups of brown sugar
• butter
• honey
• 1-2 tablespoons of rosemary
• pinch of cinnamon
• 1 deep dish crust (I use store bought crust found in the frozen aisle)
• 1 Pillsbury Crust (the type you unroll)

My measurements are somewhat estimated because I add more if necessary. Obviously feel free to do the same because everyone’s taste buds are different and unique.

1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or aluminum foil. Let’s keep the gooey mess to a minimum!

2. First things first, I put all my blackberries into one bowl and cut up the plums. I went ahead and cut the plums into slices because I wanted them to be bigger pieces. But go ahead and dice them up if you want bite sized pieces, instead.

3. Add sugar to the bowl containing your blackberries. Mash the blackberries and sugar together until every blackberry is broken. You should probably add more sugar to the berries if you want a sweeter pie. I went with only 1 cup of sugar for a more tart pie.

4. In a separate bowl, melt 2-4 tablespoons of butter. I say this as an estimated measurement, because I scooped two big spoonfuls of butter with an ordinary spoon. Holla for a butter free-style. I used vegan Earth Balance butter due to my personal preference. Use whatever butter/non-butter substitute you fancy. Add bourbon, rosemary, and cinnamon to your melted butter until it’s to your desired taste. I went a bit more heavy on the bourbon than others might.

5. Add and mix the butter concoction to your macerated blackberries. Then add your sliced plums to the bowl. Afterwards, I squeezed honey into my bowl. I eyeballed the honey, so I don’t have a distinct measurement.

6. Slowly add cornstarch and flour to your berry/plum mixture to turn the liquid into a thicker consistency.

7. After your flour/cornstarch is fully dissolved, pour the contents into your deep dish crust/pie tin. Someone tell me the proper verbiage for this container of crust.

8. Okay kiddos, you’re almost there! Throw some flour onto a flat surface and grab that unrolled Pillsbury crust. Flour your hands to avoid sticky dough clinging for dear life onto your fingers. After I unroll the dough I crush it back into a ball and beat flour into it with my *clean* hands. Then with a rolling pin I flatten/roll it back out. After you’ve rolled it flatter than your younger self’s prepubescent chest, grab a knife and cut out letters into the center of the dough. Be creative and come up with any phrase you want. I was not creative, I found my phrase on Pinterest.

9. Place your dough onto your deep dish tin filled with your berry concoction and center your phrase. Take a fork and press it along the outer edge of your crust to seal in your pie filling. Cut off the excess dough, so as none is hanging over the edge of your pie.

10. Melt a few spoonfuls of butter. Add rosemary and cinnamon to the butter. Brush the mixture on the top of your dough until the crust is completely damp. Sprinkle raw sugar on top. Some people use egg whites instead of butter. You do you.

11. Put aluminum foil along the edge of your crust. You don’t want your edges burnt, do ya? I didn’t think so.

12. Bake for 45-55 minutes. Or until your crust is golden brown.

Wow, look at that you’ve made a pie to rival Betty Crocker, herself. You can now DESTROY Barbara at the bake sale. Or just eat a slice yourself. Okay, who am I kidding, eat the whole pie!

Fun Fact #1: In food preparation, maceration is the process of breaking down and softening raw and dried fruits/vegetables to absorb the flavor profile of the liquid being used. The process of making wine relies heavily on using macerated grapes. For this process, the skin, stems, and seeds of the fruit are all used and turned into a must.

Fun Fact #2: The term “must” is the freshly crushed stem, seeds, and skins of the fruit.

Fun Fact #3: Why is my pie runny? All fruit pies are runny due to the fact that water is drawn out of the fruit when baking. To combat this, you can add a thickening solution such as, flour, cornstarch, potato starch, or tapioca.

But wait, Mary. What is that other pie pictured above? Well, oh ho ho, the Baking Gods must’ve took over my body, because with the power of fruit and dough, I made not one, but two different pies. So, click here for the next pie installment: “I Only Have Pies For You”.

Happy Baking!