marysaysmeh

Hey. Hi. Hello.

It’s ya girl, Mare, back at it again with another blog post. As we all know, it’s that special time of the year where you’re not sure whether Mrs. Betsy Ross down the street is getting brutally shot to bits or if someone just lost a finger to a Roman candle. In both cases, you wanna look the part. Let’s face it, no one wants to lose a limb dressed like a trash bag. So, lets get to it.

Shirt: Goodwill Pants: Mom’s Closet headband: Rue21

As you can see, this is the perfect outfit to get majorly wine drunk, yell at your kids for not living up to your patriotic standards, and maybe eat nachos in. I kid. But I did feel like I was the embodiment of one of the moms in The Sandlot.

To start off the look, go to your mom’s closet and find a pair of pants that she’s had since the 80s/90s. Notice that she doesn’t wear them any more or is probably too stubborn to throw them away. This is good news because with a little begging and some classic puppy dog eyes they might become yours. If your mom doesn’t like you or your sister/brother also wants the jeans, try sliding your mom a sick American flag sticker for added insurance. Now that you’ve got your bottom half taken care of, you need to cover your bosom. I know, again with the word “bosom”. It’s becoming a theme. I paired my jeans with a cropped short-sleeved button up that I acquired from the local goodwill.

The shirt is from the brand Mark Fore and Strike (I tried to find a site that sells a similar style for ya kiddos to no avail) and I’m pretty sure you’ll have to rummage through Goodwill to find it’s equal. Now, pairing this shirt and mom jeans with a headband gives you the ultimate mom form. Think retro 50’s housewife who just baked the perfect blueberry crumble for her hot lawyer wife.

Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton didn’t go to marriage counseling, so you could dress shabbily. Fun fact: Jefferson actually kept a bust of Hamilton in his house at Monticello for no reason other than he was his sworn enemy, and he felt he need an expensive bust of his sworn enemy in his house.

I paired this outfit with a black watch, so I always know when to pour tea into the Boston Harbor. A baseball themed purse ties back into my Sandlot joke from earlier. Plus, what’s more American than baseball? Fun Fact #2: the first World Series was between Pittsburg and Boston. Lesser known fact: Boston won the series after sacrificing bundles of tea to the river gods. Okay, you got me. I made that up.

I wore silver dangle earrings and a gold bracelet because why not mix it up/clash a little. If you want the exact same accessories as I bought, you can find them at Charming Charlie’s.

But also find what suits you and don’t buy something just because someone tells you to.

So, I have friends. Yep, that is the transition I’ll be using. My friends and I went to a potluck extravaganza. There was a big dog that I tried to feed watermelon to. Due to lots of wine, I don’t have a picture of said dog. I know, I know, you only come to my blog to see pictures of cute doggos. I’ve failed you. I do have a really adorable picture of my dear friends, though the cutest picture is always the blurriest.

Gosh, I love them.

Around 9 p.m. we went to see a local fireworks show. We did a little sneaky sneak and managed to sit, you guessed it, on a empty baseball field. Did you actually guess that? Being one with America, the only thing missing was inspirational music. Cue “God Bless the U.S.A.”,”American Soldier”, or the entire Hamilton Broadway soundtrack.

The show started and it was the strangest fireworks show I’ve witnessed. Instead of having one big ‘Finale” at the end of the show, there was multiple finales periodically throughout the show. And then it sort of fizzled out and it was over. We were constantly thinking the show was over, only to have more fireworks go off. It was a wild ride from start to finish.

After sitting in traffic for a hot minute, we bought our own fireworks to set off back at the house. Armed with Roman candles, sparklers, weird things you set on fire and they spin upwards while you try to avoid losing an eye, and a cool dude named “Prom Night” we were ready to set the sky on fire.

My new calling is professional sparkler spinner. This position, created by me, is where you light a handful of sparklers and spin around in circles while pretending you’re a wizard. It looks way cooler than it sounds.

This picture ^^^ looks like it could be a cool superhero movie poster about a mother on her way to buy wine and the journey she embarks. Or maybe she’s a dinosaur…a dinosaur mom. There we go. Also, can we talk about how the smoke behind me looks like one of the ghost’s from Caspar.

After setting fire to the majority of explosives, we built a bonfire to s’more it up. It quickly turned into a game of being attacked by mosquitos and two of the gals had a sprinkler war.

I may have burnt all of my marshmallows. But I still had a delightful night filled with laughs, friends, and freedom.

Now, in all fun and blog post games, I’m gonna tell you a few American history facts. “Wow, you don’t have to do that.” Oh, ho ho, but I will.

• Al Capone was responsible for expiration dates on milk jugs due to one of his family members getting ill from drinking spoiled milk.
• John Quincy Adams had a pet alligator he kept in the White House during his presidency. It was given to him as a gift by The Marquis Du Lafayette.
• You know in old cartoons where a character throws a beehive at someone, and you think, “lol that wouldn’t work in real life.” It did. During World War I people use to lob beehives at the approximate location of the enemy forces to expose them.
• In 1921, it was a custom for early suffocates to don a bathing suit and eat pizza in large groups to annoy men.
• Alexander Hamilton misspelled Pennsylvania on the Constitution.
• Thomas Jefferson had a ram he called “this abdominal animal”, the ram attacked and hospitalized  some pedestrians and killed a small boy. It was only killed after it killed some of Jeffersons other rams.
• Aaron Burr once set himself on fire because he attempted to light a candle by shooting at it because he was too tired to get an actual match. So, he logically grabbed his gun that was nearby.
• The first use of  “OMG ” occurred in 1917 in a letter to Winston Churchill.
• Theodore Roosevelt use to box in the Oval Office with his Vice President.
• The vote for U.S. independence was actually held on July 2nd. John Adams believed this was the correct date to celebrate the birth of America and repeatedly turned down invitations to appear at July 4th events.

I could probably go on and on but I’ve given you enough to hold your interest for today. As always, thank you for reading and have a great day.

Happy Independence Day!! Don’t forget to feed your bald eagles.